Excited, walking out the door this morning. Singing let get lit started Wednesday here I come. Gathering with like-minded women doing business God’s way. Then the flash of a big, bright, orange, ugly Detour sign. Ugh! Becoming completely annoyed that I now have to go out of my way.
Finally after winding through backstreets, I pulled into the parking lot annoyed, taking a moment to check my attitude with God, sitting in the front seat of my car, I lifted my hands to pray. Feeling the tension in my shoulder release. It was only for a fleeting moment as I walked towards those familiar double doors, I felt unprepared for what was waiting on the other side. An uneasiness, a panic, a sense of fear covered me like an all consuming, dark, ominous cloud. I paused before I walked in, I heard the familiar voice of turn and run danger is ahead. My normal defense mechanism was in full protection mode. I opened the door, telling myself knock it off your acting crazy. I walked in a room that I have walked into numerous times, seeing the beautiful faces of women I love and admire, immediately I struggled with a heavy anxiety, feeling completely out of place, I didn’t belong there. I sat there with my hands folded in my lap, begging God to make me invisible. Announcements were read, but the room felt dead silent. As we stood up to pray, I peeled my hands off my lap and opened them up to the Lord, willing and wanting desperately for the Holy Spirit to come fill me up, to take away this awful feeling. Singing worship to the Lord, feeling like my heart song was falling on deaf ears. Sitting down, I intentionally sat with one hand writing notes, my other hand opened, face up continuing to invite God in.
The time had come, what was normally my joy and passion to lead a small group left me begging God to get me out of it. He knew better. Wondering what am I doing here surrounded by 3 beautiful ladies. What seemed like slow motion we started to discuss the teaching and steps we would take to become better stewards of our time. Prayer request time, each lady shared their personal request, after the last gave her request I wanted to just dive in and pray. Then God called me out, one of the gals stopped me and asked my request. First words out of my mouth was peace. I was sitting watching this whirlwind of chaos whipping around, petrified I would be swallow whole right there in my chair. The anxiety of me praying out loud, always been uncomfortable, felt magnified 50 times over, feeling I lack the eloquent, beautifully crafted words that pour so effortlessly out of gifted prayerful women. My mouth was full of words like fresh, breathe life, clarity, motivation, protection of the heart, and we would put on the full armor of God, protecting us from the flaming arrows of the enemy, realizing everything I said sounded cliché. Praying my words would not fall on deaf ears, these amazing ladies passion prayers would be fulfilled, I desperately wanted their prayers heard. Whew, my heart was relieved, the meeting was over and I could get out of there with a little conversation and bolt to lunch with a friend.
As I walked to my car I realized the detour that annoyed me greatly was the start of what the enemy wanted to use to destroy me. Those feelings that overwhelmed me was the enemy’s ploy to show that I was not fully protected. Frustrated by the detour, gave the enemy a foothold. The AHHA moment… the prayer I spoke over these women was God reminding me that He is my full armor, He was protecting me from the enemy’s danger as I sat there and watched that whipping, fierce wind of chaos held back from overtaking me. Spiritual warfare taking place right before my eyes and was being won. I sat for a second in my car overwhelmed. Thank you Lord for the life saving lesson played out for me to see. What could have swallowed me whole, sent me spiraling into complete despair, left me feeling desperately alone, believing my song and cry was falling on deaf ears, allowed God to step in, He fought and He won the battle for me. My annoying detour led me to witness a life-saving moment. What the enemy chose to use to detour me, God used to show me His divine sovereignty.